User:Toastydeath

From Free Talk Live

toastydeath is janepuke's internet bff. He adds humor to janepuke's otherwise humorless text output, employing hot beef injections and his credentials as a fully certified attourney at lol. He also keeps janepuke's communist, racist, and homophobic urges in check, like a faulty control rod at Chernobyl. TOASTYDEATH / 20 / M / STRAIGHT / DERWOOD, MARYLAND. Toastydeath's girlfriend has a nice rack.

Contents 1 Toastydeath Enjoys 2 Toastydeath Does Not Enjoy 3 The Critics Review Toastydeath 4 Life and Times of Toastydeath

Toastydeath Enjoys

This is a list of crap that toastydeath enjoys.

• Bullet items.
• The Internets.
• Pie.
• Not cow pie.
• Generally stirring up shit.
• Janepuke's vagina.
• cowsay & figlet
• gay.pl
• Recursion

Toastydeath Does Not Enjoy

This is a list of crap that toastydeath does not enjoy.

• Rectal examinations.
• Janepuke's sass.
• Your mother's flappy vagina.
• Liberty and Freedom.
• You

The Critics Review Toastydeath

• "A+, WOULD CHAT AGAIN!!!!!!1"
• "Where are you taking my socks?"
• "That really hurts, dude."
• "A+"
• "Simply amazing."
• "Suspenseful! Edge of your seat excitement."
• "Brilliant ride."
• "A sensual lollercoaster!"- Janepuke 19:17, 19 May 2006 (Eastern Daylight Time)
• "Down in front!"

Life and Times of Toastydeath

• It was a dark and stormy night. Fun fact: It is neither dark, nor stomry tonight. But it was yesterday.
• He met janepuke late one Thursday night, in a dead bar downtown, on the corner of Fifth and Connecticut. I knew the dame needed something, but I wasn't sure what. Lightning cracked in the distance; rain pelting the dirty windows in the flickering light. I walked up to her, and took on a quiet tone. "Someone should replace those bulbs, they're irradiating this place with deadly ultraviolet radiation that has been shown to cause skin cancer in lab animals."
• The dame ignored me, staring deeply into her deciliter of Baccardi 151. It was clear she was suffering from a failing liver and severe brain damage. I wondered what caused it, and in an inquiring tone I pondered, "I wonder what caused your failing liver and severe brain damage?"
• Her attention peaked, she turned to me, and we began to discuss the business at hand. "Aarruugfff meeh panties, afffff affff ohhhhhhh urrrrk," she said with a wry smile and pleasant erratic and uncontrolled motor spasms.
• "Johnny Calvalone, down at the docks?"
• "Aaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeooooooooooo upp upp uppp upp?"
• "Saftey isn't guaranteed; I've only done this once before. I see you brought your own weapons."
• With a handshake and epileptic fit, we headed down the water drenched streets. Arc lamps popped and hissed at our passing, and the docs grew closer.