Deity Fanclub

From Free Talk Live

They're gods, god damn it!

Show your deference to the one you believe created everything. Then you can show your disdain for other's opinions by voting against all other Gods.

YHVH

He is who he is.

Better known by his stage name Jehovah, he's the most popular deity in America. More popular than Jesus, even.

Fanclub

Total: 2 fans

• Gregor - yes, really. thankfully we're not all like Paula.
• Paula - She loves him thiiiiiiis much!

Anti-fanclub

Total: 2

• Taors - He's a fucking prick. Just read the first 5 books of the Old Testament.
• BonerJoe - I'd do him.

Allah

There is no god but Allah and Mohammad makes him profit.

Oh shit, I forgot we're not supposed to make pictures of him. We're fucked!

Fanclub

Total: 0 fans

Anti-fanclub

Total: 1

• Taors - He's a fucking prick too. Just read the Quran.

Buddha

Get in my belly!

He was a prince, but now he's dead.

Fanclub

Total: 1

• Brock - Rub my belly!

Anti-fanclub

Total: 1

• Taors - He was a smelly piece of shit that sat by a tree for 20 fucking years. What a loser.

Satan

AKA Lightbringer, Morning Star, The most beautiful angel.

Arguably the most powerful deity on earth. Most people claim he controls everything outside of their own little cult.

Fanclub

Total: 1

• Taors - I want to take him to a gay bar.
• Puke - Satan gets a bad rap.

Anti-fanclub

Total: 1 Anti-Fans

• Paula

Xenu

Xenu during Incident II, c.75 million years ago

All Hail Xenu!

Fanclub

Total: 2 fans

• ReverendRyan - I've been a fan of his work for quite a while now.
• Taors - He helps me tell who the morons of the world are (they're the ones worshipping him).
• Shinyvandal- He's in the best South Park episode ever!

Anti-fanclub

• YixilTesiphon - Assmongrel.

Flying Spaghetti Monster

Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?.

With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents - mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.

Fanclub

Total: 3 fans

• ReverendRyan - Pastafarianism is the one and only true way.
• Puke - Pirates rock!
• Taors - He my nigga and I his nigga.
• Mike - to date he is the only deity who has not caused a war
• Johnson - Blessed are they that have been touched by his noodly appendage. Ra'men.

Anti-fanclub

Total: 0 Anti-Fans

Invisible Pink Unicorn

An artist's representation. She's invisible, of course.

The Invisible Pink Unicorn is a being of great spiritual power. We know this because she is capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that she is pink; we logically know that she is invisible because we can't see her.

Fanclub

Total: 3 fans

• Taors - I like her because I can use her against silly agnostics.
• Cyro - Hawt!
• Shinyvandal - She's pretty.

Anti-fanclub

Total: 0 Anti-Fans

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

Bringer of Truth, Defender of Slack.

"Bob" was a drilling equipment salesman who, in 1953, saw a vision of God (JHVH-1 according to Church scriptures) on a television set he had built himself. The vision inspired him to write the PreScriptures and found the Church. "Bob" is the greatest salesman who ever lived, and has cheated death a number of times. "Bob" was assassinated in San Francisco in 1984, though he has come back from the dead several times since then.

Fanclub

Total: 0 fans

Anti-fanclub

Total: 1 Anti-Fans

• Taors - He needs to put that in his pipe and smoke it.

Cthulhu

Contrary to popular belief, he's in favor of keeping humans alive, so that he can taunt and toy with them before they go insane and he eats them.

Leader of the Great Old Ones, Cthulhu exists in a deep sleep of death in the watery depths of R'lyeh silently dreaming, waiting for the day when the stars are right and his worshippers raise R'lyeh from the Pacific Ocean.

Fanclub

Total: 1 fans

• Taors - Hell fuckin' yeah. Cthulhu is my favorite God of all time besides Anubis.
• Johnson - because I enjoy engaging in meaningless activities like promoting elder gods that look forward to swallowing my soul and consider my support as insignificant as a drop of water in a sea of blood. Cthulhu will drive everyone to madness, break my mind and will the same as any other.

Anti-fanclub

Total: 0 Anti-Fans

History

First there was the host fan club, and it was good. Then came the caller fan club, and that shit rocked. Thus here layist the doth goodly god deity fan club, yea verily, blah, blah, blah; Ra-men. ReverendRyan suggested the concept on the web cam chat room and provided the text. Puke provided the silly little logos. This was around the time of 16 March 2007. PRAISE JESUS!!

P.S. They can watch you undress!

See Also

• Fanclub
• Caller Fanclub